Really, I don't want to either stay in academe or raise chickens. Here are some of the things I would really like to do:
1. Write an opera based on Night of the Living Dead. Then direct a low budget film version of said opera.
2. Learn to draw. Spend the rest of my life drawing erotic Buffy fan fiction comics.
3. Learn to play the banjo. Teach Caroline the dobro and Joseph the fiddle. Form a blue grass band that specializes in Bad Religion covers.