Sunday, January 20, 2008

Republican Communism: Cover, TOC, and Notes

I did a cover and table of contents for the new masterpiece, Republican Communism. click through for larger version.



Here are the collected notes on the thread, organized based on the proposed TOC.

Contributors: BitchPhD, Cala, Rob Helpy-Chalk, Jackmormon, Jesus McQueen, mcmc, md 20/400, Michael, potchkeh, Knecht Ruprecht

For Chapter 3. Barry Goldwater and the Birth of Republican Communism

I think I remember that the neighborhood associations *were* started by republican political operatives. There was a bit about this in Rick Perlstein's Goldwater book, if I remember properly.

From the index...

John Birch Society, origins of, 79; attacks on communist Republicans, 83; fundamental truth of criticism of Eisenhower, 93;

For Chapter 4: Ronald Regan’s Communist Morning in America

Communists believed they were locked in a mortal struggle with dark forces would stop at nothing to destroy them, and that the only answer was to spread liberation to every corner of the globe, by force if necessary, and irrespective of the wishes of the inhabitants.

For Chapter 6: Conservative Communism and the Cult of State's Rights

Republicans support states' rights, which aligns them with the defederalising tendencies among the European Socialist/Green administrations (obviously communism's heirs), therefore Republicans are Communists. QED.

For Chapter 7: Conservative Racism

Marxism has strong anti-Semitic tendencies, yet as been attractive to a lot of Jews. The Republican party has strong anti-semitic tendencies, and yet is attractive to a lot of Jews. So Republicans are communists. QED.

Communism was ostensibly "beyond race," while Republicans claim "not to see race"---both movements declare post-racism by fiat, ignoring the hatreds swirling beneath their ideology. Uh, Republicans=Communists. QED.

For Chapter 8: Conservative Communist Voodoo Economics

Marx favored government control of the economy, and in the USSR this sort of government control was used to benefit the narrow elite. Republicans have always used big government to benefit their cronies. (Deficits have gone up under every republican since Regan, etc). Therefore Republicans are communists. QED

Communists oppose independent trade unions. Republicans oppose independent trade unions.

Communists oppose ameliorist social democratic welfare policies. Republicans oppose ameliorist social democratic welfare policies.

Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration. Republicans are Communists, and have always been so, QED.

For whatever chapter deal with the environment

Marx was relentelessly pro-industrialism and anti environmental. Republicans are relentlessly pro-industrialism and anti-environmental. So Republicans are communists. QED.

For whatever chapter deals with food & cultural issues.

Red is the color of the Communist party. Red is the color of the Republican party. (This is only marginally stupider than Goldberg's comments about the significance of red in the Nazi flag.)

Republicans laugh at liberals for liking pretentious high quality chocolate. Orwell talked about chocolate in 1984. Therefore Republicans are socialists. QED.

Communists prefer bland, tasteless, nationalistically domestic foods and so do Republicans.

Republicans wave the Confederate flag and claim that it has no broader historical significance. Your average communist would not recognize the significance of the Confederate flag. QED.

Ooh, we need a counter to the fascist organic food thing. Hmm. Under communism, the state was in charge of what people should eat, how much, and where they got it. Under the Republicans, we're all supposed to eat corporate food, believe what corporations tell us about its healthiness, and buy it from nation-wide chains.

Communists at the highest level of power feign solidarity with the peasant/working class through cultural signifiers like uncosmopolitan tastes in food and clothing, just like Republicans. QED.

I have heard that despite having proclaimed the equality of the sexes, Soviet Russia remained quite prudish. Also, it is my impression that Communism frowned on abortion. And if I've heard it, surely that's enough evidence to print it!

Communists have ghastly taste in (fill in the blank), Republicans have ghastly taste in (likewise).


Communists took power without an electoral majority, then proceded to use their control over the apparatus of the state to make their party invulnerable to challenge.

Communists granted the people extensive rights on paper, but used their control over the judiciary (and, where necessary, extrajudicial imprisonment) to ensure that those rights were emptied of substance.

Republicans believe---ostensibly!---in the efficacy of boot-camps for juvenile offenders. Communists believe---ostensibly!---in the efficacy of labor camps for dissidants. In both cases, the shared presumption is that forced labor will either rehabilitate or punish. QED.

Communists believe that religion is the opiate of the masses and scorn its tendency to blind the poor to their true class interests. Republicans believe that religion is the opiate of the masses and profit from its tendency to blind the poor to their true class interests.

Communists believed that the only way they could preserve their revolution was by exporting it, by force if necessary. Republicans supported George W. Bush and his goal of "making the world safe for democracy"... QE M-F D.

Communists ascribed dissident sentiments to mental illness. Republicans ascribed dissident sentiments to Bush derangement syndrome.

Communists complained about being blacklisted in Hollywood in the 1950s. Republicans complain about being blacklisted in Hollywood.

Communists made sure that every town and village had a public landmark named after their deceased leader. Republicans want to make sure that every county in America has a public landmark named after their deceased leader.

Unused Chapter titles

I. Republican Communism: Why that's not a contradiction.

III. Sibling Rivalry: The Cold War and the McCarthey Era

VII. Why Nixon Could Go To China.

IX. Why Reagan and Gorbachev Hit it Off So Well

X. George H.W. Bush: Communism's Undertaker, or Successor?


Molly Helpychalk said...

I like the book idea.

The comment about abortion and communism is off, though. Googling abortion communism leads to this link, where Katha Pollit states: "Under communism, abortion was virtually the only family planning method. As contraception has become more available, the abortion rate has plummeted--from 90 in 1995 to 44 in 2003"

Anonymous said...

This is pretty awesome, rob.

oudemia said...

Have you seen Sadly, No! today? You need to rush this to print!

Anonymous said...

This is perhaps the sharpest, most apt criticism yet. As a graduate student, let me say that I will probably cite this in my dissertation, because of course I haven't read anything on the subject and you rite rill good.


Anonymous said...

"It Takes a Gulag" made me laugh so loud I scared my cat. Not that she's all that brave.

Anonymous said...

Your picture is funnier than Sadly,No's, and your subtitle is better--I like "sinister" as it sounds vaguely "left."

Rob Helpy-Chalk said...

I think "Sinister" was mcmc's idea. Most of the ideas come from the thread over at Unfogged.

Timothy Burke said...

Couldn't you guys add a chapter on Islamocommunism in the Republican Party? There's an untold story there, as well.

oudemia said...

Yes, the Islamocommunism chapter can focus on that Republican evangelical former congressman who was just arrested for conspiring to fund al Quaeda.

Do jcasey and helpy-chalk know that they know each other?

Rob Helpy-Chalk said...

oh hey, I didn't notice that.

Anonymous said...

jcasey knew that. Jcasey also knows oudemia--and sent someone pictures yesterday that he hopes were then forwarded.

Anonymous said...

From "The Women's Liberation Movement in Russia", by Richard Stites:

"In the context of the Soviet sexual arena, Lenin appears to be a conservative....His troubled view of sexual dissoluteness not only was shared by a wide circle of Bolsheviks but also was deeply rooted in European socialist culture. From the moment of the first great sexual debate in the history of socialism...the movement had advanced two views...that of Enjantin ranging toward more freedom and mobility; and that of Bazard who, like Lenin, preferred monogamy, constancy, voluntary and equal union, long marriages, and rarity of divorce"

From "Lenin, A Revolutionary Life", by Christopher Reed:

"From questions of sexual behavior to styles of paining, Lenin's personal views were conservative. On sexual matters, for instance, he wrote in January 1915 to Inessa Armand, commenting on her pamphlet on women's rights. Lenin chided her: "I advise you to throw out paragraph 3 altogether -- the demand (women's) for freedom of love. That is not really a proletarian but a bourgeois demand."....In November 1920 Clara Zetkin recalls that he 'dismissed Freudian theory as fashionable folly' saying he was 'always distrustful of those who concentrate on the sexual aspect'....For Lenin, civil marriage based on love was the proper context for sexual relations.

Sexuality was not the only sphere where he found himself in conflict with the avant-garde....In artistic and cultural matters in general Lenin preferred traditional forms of theatre, concert music, and opera",M1

Anonymous said...

Stalin took away the woman's right to choose in 1936. The right was given back only under Khrushchev (i.e. a relatively more liberal ruler, compared to strictly conservative Stalin).

Also, get this:

"Constructive and productive work for the society: the one who does not work – does not eat"

From the Moral Codex of Communism Builder

(While comparing American conservatism to Communism in general won't work, there are sure more than enough parallels specifically with Stalinism.)