My mom is the best

...Especially at managing small children. Normally it is my job to give Tiny Caroline her bath and put her to sleep. I'm the primary breadwinner, and away at the office all day, so when I get home in the evening, it's my turn to watch the baby. I always thought I was pretty good at getting Tiny Caroline to bed. As a college professor, putting young people to sleep is a part of my job.

While we were visiting my folks over thanksgiving, though, I saw a true bedtime master in action. One evening Caroline was wailing like a banshee, refusing to get in the bath. My Mom stepped in, "Do you see this penguin, caroline"

Caroline: "Waaa, yes, snif, waaa"

Mom: "Does the penguin want to get in the water?"

Caroline: "Snif, yes"

Mom: "Can you show the penguin how to get in the water"

Caroline: "ok"

And in the tub she went. It was amazing. Later Mom got Caroline asleep in a mere 10 minutes reading Dr. Suess's Sleep Book.

Meanwhile, my attempts to be a Sensitive Dad are worsening. Yesterday we were at the midwife's for our first appointment regarding tiny unnamed fetus. The midwife was discussing the circumstances in which she would order a C-section. Important stuff. Here's what was going on in my thought balloon:

"You know what would be really cool? A zombie movie set in a hospital. Like, patients would come in, and the doctors would have to decide if they had the zombie disease. Yeah...but what kind of society would be left? Maybe the doctors would have to argue with the local warlord who acts as their patron..." I was really quite a line of thought. I nearly wrote a whole screenplay before I remembered that I was supposed to be acting supportive.