Insane, Hyperactive Midget

Here’s the thing: We live with an insane, hyperactive midget. And this midget, she goes to this thing, it’s like a support group for insane hyperactive midgets. Normal people also go to this group. They’re called “parents” or “childcare providers,” and…I guess I’m one of those too, but I’ve only gone to the insane hyperactive midget support group a few times. In any case, the normal people at the insane hyperactive midget support group periodically say things like “Who wants to go to the playground!” or “who wants to play with blocks!”

So our insane hyperactive midget doesn’t sleep much. (That’s where the hyperactive part comes from.) And when she pops awake in the middle of the night, she generally exclaims something. She generally sleeps in the same bed with us, the insane hyperactive midget, although we want to move her to her own room. For now when she pops awake, we are generally right there. Recently, she’s picked up this phrase from her insane hyperactive midget support group, so when she pops awake at 1:30, like she did this morning, she is given to exclaim “Who wants to read a story!”

“Who wants to read a story!” We’ve been hearing it every morning for a while now. Whenever she says it, though, no one in the bed is in the mood to read a story. Molly doesn’t want to. I don’t want to. There are two other people in the bed, the dog and a 29 week old fetus, but neither of them know how to read.

I guess I’m just saying that I’m tired of hearing “Who wants to read a story!” at 1:30 in the morning.